Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Equal & Opposite Reaction Part I

Although experiences in life usually inspire what I write, I don't usually have specific people or circumstances in mind that motivate me to write.  Although people or situations come to me that could relate, they are not usually THE reason I write something.  I've been reading this book/Bible study called Chasing the Lion.  (The book it originates from is In a Pit with a Lion on a Snow Day, by Mark Batterson.  I am absolutely LO-VING this book.  It is all about, well, changing your point of view, really.  What seems like tremendous obstacles or impossible circumstances, could actually be your greatest opportunities.  But you have to be able to SEE the opportunity and then SEIZE the opportunity. So it got me thinking.

How many people let their circumstances define who they are.  I know people who have been abused, molested, have lost husbands, children, parents, close relatives & friends, have been victims of tragedies.  I also know people who have had it easy all their life.  Some financially, some relationally, some circumstancially where nothing bad has really happend to them.  I also know people who have had it both ways.  They have been victim to terrible things and yet have had great opportunities and blessings in their life.  Now some of these people, only see the negative and dwell on the negative, which ultimately blinds them so they never really see all the positive things in their life.  And they are pretty miserable, sometimes fun to be around, but on the inside they feel miserable.  I also know people who have been victim to or experienced great tragedies, but have embraced the blessings and good things that have come to them. 

I have to say, I think I've had it pretty easy.  I haven't really been victim to any great tragedies.  I can definitely name some negative things that I've experienced, losing ALL my grandparents when I was very young, parents divorced in high school, was married, had a baby, and got a divorce all within 18months, all while I was in college, nearly went through a 2nd divorce.  Not great tragedies, but not great times either.  However, I don't let those experiences define me.  I learn from those experiences.  Sometimes I learn from other people's experiences.  I learn what not to do; I learn what TO DO; I learn what to treasure and what not to take granted.  I let those experiences make me who I am by the way I CHOOSE to react.  I could choose to react in a way that is selfish - feeling sorry for myself that i never knew my grandparents or that my parents didn't stay together. Or I could choose to see the good that may have come from those things, or the things that I learned, and maybe to help others with the experiences I've gone through.

You could be like me, became a mother very young. You didn't get to live out those younger years, when you had an excuse to be kinda crazy. You could choose to be irresponsible and live them out now while your children are growing up OR you could choose to be thankful that you were spared the embarrassing moments or maybe even tragedies that could have been.

Maybe you are a mother, plain and simple. You could let that define who you are and let yourself go.  No time for you, all for the children. Maybe you don't take care of YOURself (exercise, eating healthy, looking nice, having quiet time to rest & relax) making you feel resentful, bitter, overweight, dealing with health issues, maybe your marriage is suffering, maybe your kids are spoiled.  OR you could be a Woman...a women of God, be a wife, then be a mother.  One who takes care of yourself, spiritually, mentally & physically, making you not only able to care for your marriage and your family, but also making you feel self-confident, healthy, energized, and ultimately respected by your husband and children.

Maybe you are a business owner.  You could let your business own you. All of your time and effort is spent investing in the business leaving you no time or energy to invest in your spiritual, social, or family life.  OR you could use your ownership and authority to make time for your spiritual, social and family life.

Maybe you've been in bad relationship after bad relationship.  You could feel sorry for yourself and ask what is wrong with me?  What did i do wrong?  or maybe, Why wasn't he has happy, I was?  OR you can take a step back and see what was it that went wrong?  What was I not seeing? What was he not seeing?  And learn from the experience what to do next time and what NOT to do.  So that the next person will be a better match or in the next relationship you'll know how to handle situations when they arise.

Maybe you are a victim of a tragedy or simply have been a victim. You could use that as an excuse to feel defeated when any little thing goes wrong.  OR you can use it to help someone who has experienced the same thing you have, because rest assured you are NOT the only one who has gone through it or is going to go through it.  Maybe even use it as a motivator to fight back: get justice, fight for the cause, start a cause, change legislation, whatever the case may be.  Use your experiences for the good. Don't keep it all in.  You can use negative energy and turn it into positive energy and do good with it.

Don't get me wrong!!  What I am NOT saying is that everyone should be happy go lucky all of the time and no matter how terrible things are in life you should still be happy and thankful.  Well, I'm not exactly saying that.  There are definitely times and circumstances to mourn and times that you have to fight to get out of bed or to face people and life in general.  And you must do those things - mourn, fight, and face. But you can't stay in those places of mourning, an angry place of fighting, avoiding facing the people, facing the circumstances.  You must move on.  It may not be easy at first, but it gets easier and easier...  If you choose to wake up and think of the positive things rather than worry about all the negative things that might happen.

No comments:

Post a Comment