So, I'm totally in a bad place today. Very negative, very self absorbed, but trying hard to keep going and get stuff done so my depression today doesn't lead to more stress this week.
Don't be worried though, I go through these phases, as I'm sure most people do whether they're aware of it or not. Mine could be due to so many things right now: still feeling sick (coughing every 30minutes), on 7 different drugs trying to get the coughing to subside/die down/but ultimately GO AWAY!), the gloomy cloudy day we're having, hormones... or possibly the left over sugar binge I had last night.
All in all, it's a place I've been several times, in and out. I pretty much don't want to do much of anything; my kids drive me crazy at all their wants, and then I drive MYself crazy not giving into their unhealthy desire to watch t.v. all day, because let's face it I WANT TO WATCH T.V. ALL DAY! Mommy's turn!!! (kidding...kind of. I need to do laundry, thus a t.v. show or movie is my reward & distraction from the tedious chore). Oh, yeah and then I hate everything about my house! The clutter, the old carpets, the old paint that is all scuffed up, the clutter, the dust (that apparently I'm extremely allergic to!), the lack of money to fix anything that needs to be fixed or that I would just like fixed or repaired or replaced. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH It all adds up and it drives me nuts!!
But truly, my point is, we ALL have these moments. They could last a few hours, a few days, a few weeks, even a few years of pain, drama, stress, depression. For everyone it's different. It could be life changes, divorce, loss of a loved one, the dreaded "teenage years" (which is a whole 'nother topic that I could get on my soap box about, but I won't right now....); it could be goals that you've tried to attain or never even have able to get started at attempted, but it's all a matter of patience and perseverance. When we get into these ruts of negativity we have a choice!! We can wallow in self pity and "woah is me!" and run our butts to the pantry or fridge or freezer then to the couch to watch a movie and just freeze in the depressing moment, or we can CHOOSE to keep moving and focus all of that negative energy onto something positive! I'm not saying that the negative feelings will go away. I'm putting blinders on to every corner of my house (dinner room, office area, bedroom - OH DONT' EVEN get me started on my bedroom!!, the kid's closets, every counter space under every sink!! FLY LADY HELP ME!! again, another topic I'll mention at the end). Instead I am focusing on my new Sunday goal - get all of the laundry done and make sure I have a dinner meal plan for the week. I don't want to do any of it!! (thus 1 reason I'm here -- at the computer -- typing --- prooooooocraaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssttiiiiiiiiiiiiiinaaaaaaating!! I've drawn it out too long)
No matter how negative I feel, I'm going to do my best to:
1. NOT BINGE ON SUGAR, CHOCOLATE, COFFEE, ALCOHOL (ok, I wouldn't binge on alcohol, but a glass of wine to just relax my nerves sounds lovely, but will inevitably lead to tiredness, lack of motivation, and a desire to eat!)
2. STICK TO MY PLAN
My dinner is in the crock pot, my meal plan is done for the week, I even added a few things to a small growing grocery list of "this and thats"
2 loadsof laundry are waiting for me to fold, 3rd load is in the dryer, 4th load is in the washer, 1 last load of "delicates" is waiting to be washed and hung.
3. PATIENCE I'm the only one in this funk, I don't need to spread the negativity to the rest of my family. I just forced my 2 little ones to have quiet time for 2 hours in their room. I don't believe they slept, but it gave me uninterrupted time in the kitchen and some time to let off some steam, gather my thoughts, and get in a "somewhat" decent frame of mind.
4. I CHOOSE TO SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL This funk will not last, this crud in my chest will not last, this laundry will not last. I accept that there are things in life we just have to do to get us to the goot stuff. Isn't that how it always is?
We don't want to "deprive" ourselves of those sweets or fun times or expensive stuff, so we give in and we reap the CONSEQUENCES. Instead, we, as a society, need to GET OVER OURSELVES, our SELFISH WANTS & DESIRES; Practice patience, self control, and strength from a high power sometimes, to get to where we NEED and WANT to be.
Your past mistakes don't define you. Your current Choices define you.
Have a healthy week! I'm praying for health for myself and I can pray for you, too. Just let me know. It's always confidential, but no gossip allowed ;)
p.s. FlyLady.net is a free on-line source to help you get control of the clutter in your life; your house especially. She encourages 15 minutes of decluttering at a time, 1 hour of "home blessings" where you literally only vacuum the middle of the flour and clean off the open spaces and you are seriously only allowed that 15minutes or 1 hour and you must force yourself to stop! She gives babysteps for each room, each day of each week, each month. Including family time on Saturday and a Spiritual reboot on Sunday. check her out! www.flylady.net
Don't be worried though, I go through these phases, as I'm sure most people do whether they're aware of it or not. Mine could be due to so many things right now: still feeling sick (coughing every 30minutes), on 7 different drugs trying to get the coughing to subside/die down/but ultimately GO AWAY!), the gloomy cloudy day we're having, hormones... or possibly the left over sugar binge I had last night.
All in all, it's a place I've been several times, in and out. I pretty much don't want to do much of anything; my kids drive me crazy at all their wants, and then I drive MYself crazy not giving into their unhealthy desire to watch t.v. all day, because let's face it I WANT TO WATCH T.V. ALL DAY! Mommy's turn!!! (kidding...kind of. I need to do laundry, thus a t.v. show or movie is my reward & distraction from the tedious chore). Oh, yeah and then I hate everything about my house! The clutter, the old carpets, the old paint that is all scuffed up, the clutter, the dust (that apparently I'm extremely allergic to!), the lack of money to fix anything that needs to be fixed or that I would just like fixed or repaired or replaced. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH It all adds up and it drives me nuts!!
But truly, my point is, we ALL have these moments. They could last a few hours, a few days, a few weeks, even a few years of pain, drama, stress, depression. For everyone it's different. It could be life changes, divorce, loss of a loved one, the dreaded "teenage years" (which is a whole 'nother topic that I could get on my soap box about, but I won't right now....); it could be goals that you've tried to attain or never even have able to get started at attempted, but it's all a matter of patience and perseverance. When we get into these ruts of negativity we have a choice!! We can wallow in self pity and "woah is me!" and run our butts to the pantry or fridge or freezer then to the couch to watch a movie and just freeze in the depressing moment, or we can CHOOSE to keep moving and focus all of that negative energy onto something positive! I'm not saying that the negative feelings will go away. I'm putting blinders on to every corner of my house (dinner room, office area, bedroom - OH DONT' EVEN get me started on my bedroom!!, the kid's closets, every counter space under every sink!! FLY LADY HELP ME!! again, another topic I'll mention at the end). Instead I am focusing on my new Sunday goal - get all of the laundry done and make sure I have a dinner meal plan for the week. I don't want to do any of it!! (thus 1 reason I'm here -- at the computer -- typing --- prooooooocraaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssttiiiiiiiiiiiiiinaaaaaaating!! I've drawn it out too long)
No matter how negative I feel, I'm going to do my best to:
1. NOT BINGE ON SUGAR, CHOCOLATE, COFFEE, ALCOHOL (ok, I wouldn't binge on alcohol, but a glass of wine to just relax my nerves sounds lovely, but will inevitably lead to tiredness, lack of motivation, and a desire to eat!)
2. STICK TO MY PLAN
My dinner is in the crock pot, my meal plan is done for the week, I even added a few things to a small growing grocery list of "this and thats"
2 loadsof laundry are waiting for me to fold, 3rd load is in the dryer, 4th load is in the washer, 1 last load of "delicates" is waiting to be washed and hung.
3. PATIENCE I'm the only one in this funk, I don't need to spread the negativity to the rest of my family. I just forced my 2 little ones to have quiet time for 2 hours in their room. I don't believe they slept, but it gave me uninterrupted time in the kitchen and some time to let off some steam, gather my thoughts, and get in a "somewhat" decent frame of mind.
4. I CHOOSE TO SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL This funk will not last, this crud in my chest will not last, this laundry will not last. I accept that there are things in life we just have to do to get us to the goot stuff. Isn't that how it always is?
We don't want to "deprive" ourselves of those sweets or fun times or expensive stuff, so we give in and we reap the CONSEQUENCES. Instead, we, as a society, need to GET OVER OURSELVES, our SELFISH WANTS & DESIRES; Practice patience, self control, and strength from a high power sometimes, to get to where we NEED and WANT to be.
Your past mistakes don't define you. Your current Choices define you.
Have a healthy week! I'm praying for health for myself and I can pray for you, too. Just let me know. It's always confidential, but no gossip allowed ;)
p.s. FlyLady.net is a free on-line source to help you get control of the clutter in your life; your house especially. She encourages 15 minutes of decluttering at a time, 1 hour of "home blessings" where you literally only vacuum the middle of the flour and clean off the open spaces and you are seriously only allowed that 15minutes or 1 hour and you must force yourself to stop! She gives babysteps for each room, each day of each week, each month. Including family time on Saturday and a Spiritual reboot on Sunday. check her out! www.flylady.net
