Okay, so I've had some stuff on my mind and no time to sit down and write it all out. But I can't seem to get it out of my head after my son woke me up calling out, "Mommy" just for a stinkin' kleenex! Get it yourself kid, it's 4am! He's working on it. It's still sweet to hear him say it, but not so much at 4am. So, anyway, I'm up to get this off my brain then back to bed.
This is mainly for the ladies, but it may help the men, too. If nothing else you can forward it to your wife.
This also is mainly for those who are married. But if you're not, take note. You'll need it for when you are ;)
I've been doing this book study with my husband and a group from church called "For Couples" only. It was really great to help the women understand our men, and vice versa. Things like, "What Your Man Wish You Knew" and has been trying to tell you, but you won't listen OR can't tell you because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. And it's based on scientific studies and surveys.
Well, one of the chapters for the ladies is on our appearance. It can be a really touchy subject with us ladies especially when we think about the Bible and the saying "It's what's on the inside that counts". Well, this is EXTREMELY true because your motivation behind everything is what matters. Even your motivation behind why you keep up your appearance. The book teaches us ladies that men are extremely visual and keeping up our appearance can mean alot to him. Now please DO NOT hear me say that you must be SKINNY! That is NOT what the point is. Basically you should TAKE CARE of yourself. Your husband loves you! And he wants you to be happy, he wants to spend time with you, and he wants to desire you. How can your husband desire you if you are not happy, have no energy, and do nothing for yourself, including making yourself look nice?
Depending on where you are in your relationship and where you are in life this may or may not apply. For some you may have been married for years and you say, yeah, yeah, I know my husband loves me, blah, blah, blah or maybe you're in a place that you're struggling and you two are distant right now. Your motivating behind the efforts you take to love your husband are going to make the difference. And the motivation behind your husband's efforts are going to make a difference. When your husband tells you he loves you or when he tells you your beautiful or any other positive comments he gives you...LISTEN!! He means it! Don't blow it off and think in your head, "Oh he's only saying that because he has to, he's my husband." or "he's biased because he's my husband". Next time, take a moment. Tell those inner thoughts of YOURS to be quiet! Think about what your husband has just told you because he MEANS THEM! They are not irrelevant, biased maybe, yes, but isn't what he thinks about you matter the most? Let yourself believe him. My husband likes to tell me I'm "hot". (His words, not mine) It's kind of funny and kind of sweet. He will tell me that several times through out the day. And he's done this for a while and it took me a long while to actually believe him. I thought he was just being silly. But he really means that he thinks i'm "hot". Once I let myself believe him, I started to feel "hot". And it makes me want to continue to look "hot" for him. Now this is not something he says when I'm dressed up nice and have sultry make up on and we're going clubbin' (because we go dancing maybe once/year!) This is early in the morning when I'm feeding the baby or at the end of a long tiring day and the bags under my eyes are showing and I'm physically pooped and just vegging out watching t.v. He will come in the room....stop in his tracks and look at me...and say, "You're hot!" Now, I don't FEEL hot by any stretch of the imagination and I'm sure that other people looking at me would not describe me that way. But that is truely what my husband thinks and feels about me. Maybe your husband tells you you're gorgeous or your beautiful or your special whatever terms he uses to describe you...listen to him, know that it is genuine, and start to believe it and own it! Start to feel it.
What does all this have to do with your appearance? Once you start to believe these positive words that are given to you, it may encourage you to WANT to make yourself look better. Alot of us want to make our outward appearance look better. And that is fine. That's probably why you are on this email list. And for those that may have given up on your physical appearance, DON'T! Anything is repairable! From the plant you think you've starved, the food you have burned in the pot, even your marriage. You'd be amazed at how someone who knows how to take care of plants can revive that plant with food or water (I know from experience.) The food you've burned in the pot, just scoop out the food on top and don't touch the bottom and it can totally still taste good (again, I know from experience and got that tip online). And your marriage...whether you've grown apart from each other or one of you has done something you think is unforgiveable...it can be forgiven and your relationship can be restored (again, I speak from experience. And what will come out of your relationship once you have forgiven or started communicating again, it will be ten times better than what your relationship once was.)
My point here is DON'T GIVE UP! The point of the chapter in the book was, it is your effort that counts. If you at least make an effort to take care of yourself, whether it's doing something with your hair (my husband always comments when I actually make it look nice), or get out of the baggy sweats and t-shirt and wear something cute, or make a conscious effort to put down the donut or the morning "dessert" from starbucks (coffee is one thing, a caramel frapp with extra whip is a dessert people), more than likely #1 he will notice, #2 he's going to feel more loved and respected that you are trying to do something good. Because it's not just something you are doing for yourself, it's something that you are doing for him. And maybe that will also help to motivate you. If you don't do it for yourself, do it for him. Because he's the one you want to look nice for, or at least he should be. If you're husband thinks your hot or beautiful or sexy...don't you want him to continue to think so?
I hope this has helped you in some way. If you are trying to lose weight and you have a goal to look like some skinny person you know of or see on t.v., just know this. No matter how skinny you get, you're still going to find imperfections and there will still be something you don't like about yourself. You first have to be comfortable and confident. Let me repeat that... you have to be COMFORTABLE....and....CONFIDENT about yourself. You have to work on the inside and then that will shine through. Then working on the outside will be a little bit easier.
