Deceptively Delicious

Have you heard of this book? It's by Jerry Springfield, no, Jerry Springer, no, Jerry McGuire, no!!  Jerry Seinfeld!! That's the one!  Jerry Seinfeld's wife.  There is also one called The Sensible Chef.  They have the same concept.  Sneaking vegetables and fruits into their foods, especially for their kids.  So, I've taken this concept and done alot of cooking with my purees.  I just wanted to share some ideas that are so do-able and make your eating lifestyle sooo healthy, without anyone realizing it!  And actually makes cooking really quick! I made my spaghetti & sauce in 20minutes yesterday!

First of all, you have to make your menu and write down what puree is going into what (see below)
Then, do your grocery shopping.  My most recent trip included 4 green bell peppers, 3 yellow, 3 red.  4 squash and 4 zucchini and a bag of carrots.  The next day I cleaned all the veggies, I "skinnend" the carrots and I pureed each of them in a a large pot.  (all bell peppers together, zucchini and squash together and carrots by themselves.)  After the first batch of veggies was steamed, I pureed it in the blender, w/ about 1/4c of water, and started the next veggie steaming. 

Once they were pureed, I measured out 1/2 cup and put them into ziplocks. I ended up with about 4 ziplocks of each bell pepper, 5-6 bags of the squash and zucchini and about 4-6 of the carrots.  I did use the carrot immediately to make my kid's some carrot/apple sauce muffins.  (I use natural apple sauce).

Oh, and don't forget, there is plenty of spices in these to make the flavor!  Oregano, Parsley, Onion, Garlic, salt, soy sauce, paprika, etc.  Whatever you need to make the flavor right.  You can use Mrs. Dash or one of those amazing spices from HEB.

(each of the puree's are 1 bag = 1/2 cup unless otherwise stated)

Burgers - zucchini & red bell pepper puree

Spaghetti sauce - zucchini, red bell pepper, green bell pepper, 1cup of squash, 1-10oz can tomato paste (i used the left over zucchini burgers instead of meat balls)

Pizza - I used the left over sauce on mini-pizza's on english muffins with turkey pepperoni.

Guacamole - My son LOVES guacamole, veggies, not so much.  His guacamole contains 1 part avocado: 1 part zucchini puree  OR 2 parts avocado:1 part green pea puree. (again, don't forget the spices!)

Salsa - I buy the Wholly Salsa or Walmart's MarketFresh salsa, but I add zucchini puree or squash puree or red bell pepper puree...or a little bit of all of them 1:1 ratio.  My son doesn't know the difference, he eats it ALL up and loves every bite!

Salad Dressing - zucchini puree, squash puree, red bell pepper puree, then I add 1-2Tbsp rice wine vinegar or cider vinegar and 1-2 Tablespoon of sweetener.

Fruity Vinegraitte Salad Dressing - raspberry, strawberry, and blueberry, puree, acai vinegar or balsamic vinegar with cider vinegar and a tablespoon of sweetener (I use frozen strawberry's and blueberry's a lot.)

Fruity Crystal Light - Ok, if you're not a "sweetener" kinda of person, then you may want to change this a little bit, but we don't have a ton of sweetener, so I think it's okay for us. 
1 large pitcher (more than 2 quarts-preferably 4 quarts
Crystal Light - lemonade or limeade flavored (it can be pink lemonade or regular, limeade or margarita flavored)
Add 3 quarts or 3.5 quarts of water (I add extra water to mine). 
1 big squeeze of lime juice (4 fresh or 1/3 of the lime shaped bottle)
About 2-3cups of frozen strawberries  (I just fill the container up. The more the better.)

Popsicles - Once the crystal light is gone, if no one has eaten the strawberries at the bottom, I puree them, and pour them into popsicle containers.  Fresh popsicles!!!!

For those that love a good protein shake, I'll just give you one good one, especially if you have a scrawny little athletic kid - kinda like mine.
Cherry Protein Icee - Cherry Crystal Light (premade in a pitcher - follow the directions) just add 1 scoop of vanilla protein powder, and 1-2cups of ice cubs. Put it all in a blender and bam! Cherry Protein Icee!  Tastes just like the one from the convenient store, but less sugar and more protein!
(I know it has no puree in it, but you can always add a fruit, like the recipe above.)

OMG, ridiculously delicious dessert!  Not the healthiest, by any means, but It's good!

Dessert Quesadilla
4 tortillas - whole wheat obviously is the healthier choice
4 tsp of butter (I use Smart Balance Light with olive oil w/ flax - it's dairy free)
4 tsp sugar or sweetener if you can handle that
cinnamon to sprinkle

1/3 - 1/2 bag of mini marshmallows
1 cup pureed bananas
2-4 Tbsp chocolate syrup (optional)

Melt the marshmallows in a pan on med/low heat (I used coconut oil on the sides to keep it from sticking).
When the marshmallows were half way melted I added in the banana. When it was all melted I added the chocolate syrup.  This can be used as a dip or the filling for the tortillas.

Put tortillas in a skillet on low heat.  Heat 1 side, then flip.  Spread butter, sugar and cinnamon on 1 side of the tortilla. 
Take the tortilla off and either fill it with marshmallow dip and make a dessert-quesadilla or cut the tortillas into triangles and dip into the marshmallow dip.

ENJOY!!!

Don't Be Lazy

I know of people who have had weight loss surgery or have "tried everything" to lose weight and have not been able to lose weight or have not been able to keep it off.  But the problem is, they're looking for a short term fix to a long term problem, which really needs a long term solution.

Like I said in my previous post, people are willing to make exercise a part of their "healthy lifestyle", but their not willing to TRUELY make FOOD a part of that healthy lifestyle.  People want to come in the gym and exercise so that they can leave and eat whatever the heck they want!  #1 Calories In vs Calories Out people. And it is RIDICULOUSLY EASY to eat 3000 calories in 1 day, it is RIDICULOUSLY HARD to burn 3000 calories in 1 day!!  I could go into that, but not on this post.

But I think I know the problem. And it's a society thing.  Our society is so spoiled and so lazy.  Now, I used to think that drive-up ATM's were ridiculous. Just get out of your car and walk to the ATM! Then I had kids -3 to be exact - and I realized how convenient and helpful it was.  But let me tell you, when my kid's are not with me...Oh, I still use the drive-up ATM, there's one on every corner and not very many you can walk up to any more.  I could go off about the parking spaces that are for pregnant women (hello, they need their exercise, too. I was one - 3 times!) or the parking spaces for parents of little children. I love that because the way people drive I would rather be closer to the door with my kids.  But it's the lazy-freakin' people who DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS WITH THEM who park there!  Oh, that drives me nuts!  I only park there when my kids are with me- my little kids - not my 12 yr old, she can walk.  So many things that are modern day "conveniences" are making us spoiled and lazy!!  Do everything from your computer/your phone/your ipod - you don't have to leave your house - great! More fat butts and hunched backs!

But seriously, the problem is that in order to truely eat healthy, you have to THINK about it. It takes work! It takes effort! It takes brain power! It takes Time. And I'll be honest with you.  With 3 kids, I don't always have the brain power or the energy!  But I certainly try my best and smetimes I have off days.  But let me get into that later.

Just a little background story.  I made somewhat healthy choices most of my life. (that's a whole 'nother story)  But after my son was born, we found out, at 3months, that he was allergic to dairy.  Well, wanting to be healthy and continue to breast feed, I had to cut dairy out of MY diet.  This made me analyze everything I ate and what I realized was that I had dairy in almost every meal!  Milk with my cereal, yogurt for snacks, cheese in my salad, butter already in sliced bread you get a the store, milk with my dinner.  I mean, I literally didn't know what to eat.  So my problem became, "Am I eating enough??" So I started diligently tracking my food.  All the websites say, for safety reasons, if you are pregnant or nursing do not limit your calories.  Well, that was not my problem.  I made sure I was giving myself enough calories, but finding those calories that were not filled with dairy was a challenge.  My point is #1 it took me wanting to take care of my child to actual track my calories!!  (I had tracked my food before, but never my actual calories!  I always though that was a bit much.) 
And #2 It took me tracking my calories and doing it for an entire 9months, to realize what I was eating and to realize how many calories were IN the foods I was eating.  I had no idea dairy was in almost everything I ate!  And I had no idea how many calories I was eating my simply eating an apple, or a slice of bread with some honey on it!  I've had friends track their calories and realize they eat fast food much more often than they realized.

You see we all have selective memory. We only want to remember the good things we've eaten.  I did start writing down my food when I got married (before my dairy allergy son was born), but I wasn't logging my calories.  I did realize that I was eating 3 desserts a day rather than just the 1 that I THOUGHT I had been eating.  It was a habit/lifestyle to have a little something sweet after every meal!  But it was only after my son when I logged my food & calories for 9months that I LEARNED how to eat. It was a lot of work!!  It took a lot of time!!  And even 5 years later I'm still learning and tweaking and falling off the wagon and getting back on.  But for the most part, I make healthy choices-lots of veggies, lean meats, very little processed foods-lots of fresh foods that I have made myself!!  I would not consider myself a health nut, even though I am very healthy.  But I still have cookies and I still go on eating binges from time to time and I love a good burger. I'm not perfect.  I get tired and I eat! I get stressed and I eat!  But I know how to get myself back under control.  And when I want something "unhealthy" like a burger or fries, I make my own!!  I can control the calories, the fat, the grease, and I sneak veggies into my food (see next post).  You see when you have a healthy LIFESTYLE, those off days, or simply that, OFF DAYS.  They come and go.  The goal is to make your regular habit of healthy foods and healthy choices outweight the days that you go a little nuts and have something way out of your calorie limit or totally processed or full of sugar or sodium, whatever your poison is. (mine is sugar!)

What's my Point??

DON'T BE LAZY!!  If you want to lose weight it's gonna take work and not just in the gym!
USE YOUR BRAIN!!  If you want to be healthy, you're gonna need to THINK about WHAT YOU EAT!  Because a donut every sunday morning at church is NOT OK. Exercise during the week so that you can drink your margarita's or cases of beer or bottles of wine on the weekends is NOT OK. Feeding yourself and your kids burgers and fries and an orange SODA before their softball, soccer, volleyball or cheerleading practice is NOT do your grocery shopping. You have to pre-cut your veggies (or puree them like I do).  You have to make healthy snacks for your kids when you're on the go (homemade granola bars or carrot/applesauce muffins).  You have to take the time and the effort if you really want to be healthy.
And if you have no idea HOW to do it, ask for help!!!  Us trainers, at least the ones I know at my Y, are more than willing to help.  We will even show you our food diaries on myfitnesspal. (If you show me yours, I'll show you mine)   Ask us questions, we'll give you our secrets and our recipes.  It is totally do-able! Even for mom's who work full time!  Not an excuse.  You just have to put your priorities first and take the time and make the effort.

It"s A Lifestyle

Sometimes I wonder why I even have a blog. I rarely post anything and when I do no one comments, so I don't know if anyone is actually reading...Well, I do see that I've had 221 views, but I've had this for so long and like I said, there are so few posts that I've made. And it's not like I don't have stuff to say, it's just a matter of me having time...or making time...to sit down and type it up. Honestly, I have tons of thoughts, I'm usually making my lunch during those thoughts.  And making my lunch takes me about an hour to prep (my kids lunch included).  But it's a choice I make. I take the time to prepare my lunch because I don't want to eat boxed food out of the freezer. I want to have a fresh salad with all kinds of random fixin's (which is exactly what I'm eatting right now. I even posted it on my facebook today! Look it up -  I'm under Vicki Ellis Luu on facebook.)  And if I'm doing really good, like I am today, I'm logging my food into my fitnesspal on my ipod throughout the process...which probably takes about 1/3 of the time.  But again, it's a choice I make. And so is sitting down the type this blog. I could easily be practicing my songs for church band (I'll do that after since practice is in 6 hours) or checking my email or cleaning my house (which totally needs it right now!) or making a flyer that I need to make for yet another thing I'm volunteering for.  But no, I'm making the decision to share my thoughts with you.  Do you see the theme?  It's all about choices!

I guess I could've titled this post "Choices", but the more often you make the same choices, the more it becomes a habit, which inevitably becomes a lifestyle. Which brings me to my point.

I see so many people go to the gym.  And I love to see them there.  I've seen people on their fitness journey, where they start off on the treadmill only!  Then they'll slowly try out the elliptical and build up the minutes they can actually stay on it. Then they'll even try out some weight machines or maybe a group exercise class.  I've even seen people who start out only on the treadmill, work their way up to 3 group exercise classes a day!!  And I see them on a regular basis! I mean, they have made exercise a part of their lifestyle!!!  But...(here it comes)...most of the time (not all, but the majority by far) they're goal is to be healthier and to lose weight.  And yes, they have made exercise a part of their lifestyle, but their weight hasn't budged.  And although their meds have been decreased, they're still on 'em.  You see, exercise is only 1...or 3...hours out of 24 hours.  Why is it that people are willing to make exercise a part of their lifestyle, but they are not willing to change their food??????  How you eat is a lifestyle, too.

I met this stranger during spring break who had just started with a personal trainer and had just finished a spin class. She was getting a smoothie for her post workout snack.  This was a coffee shop and out of all the choices, she got a pina colada smoothie-seriously??  Sure there's some fruit-pineapple, but maybe 1/8 of it!!  The rest is milk and sugar! sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, SUGAR!!! I didn't say that, but you KNOW I thought it.  Then she proceeded to tell me how her trainer told her to eat and how there was no way it was realistic or possible to do the diet long term.  What was so funny, is she described EXACTLY, let me re-iterate, with no exaggeration- EXACTLY  How I EAT!

high fiber breakfast with fruit
high protein snack with veggies
high protein, high fiber lunch with veggies or fruit
high protein low fat snack with veggies
small dinner with protein & veggies and very little to no carbs depending on your previous meals

I did tell her that is exactly how I eat and that it is totally do-able and that is the way to eat if you want to be healthy and maintain the weight loss.  She seemed surprised, like, she still didn't believe it.  But really, she just didn't WANT to believe it.  Because she wasn't willing to make those choices. She wasn't willing to learn or try or to put in the hard work or take the time it was gonna take to make the "diet" suggested a lifestyle.

I have even more thoughts on this, but I'll make another post in case you need a break or a chance to process this.  Just think about it. What kind of lifestyle do you really want?  Exercise can be hard work, but it really doesn't take a TON of brain power.  Just make your body move and burn some calories. But if you REALLY want to be healthy and you really want to lose weight and keep it off, you've gotta learn to eat right - what you eat, when you eat, where you eat, how you eat...it all matters.  But you have to be willing to make the choice enough to make it a habit, to make it a lifestyle.

(see my awesome lunch made out of a bunch of leftovers!)

http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=10150694816463981&set=a.10150437332118981.369448.779653980&type=1&theater

Gettin' All Spiritual and Stuff - Talkin' about Lent...kind of

I don't know how many of you are Christian or celebrate Mardi Gras and Lent, but I had some interesting thoughts this week as I was NOT observing Lent.  See the pastor at my church is doing a series on growing closer to God. He was talking about things we can do privately to help with our spiritual growth.  One of them is fasting.  So he challenged us to fast...from something*.  A meal, or a specific food.  He even suggested coffee (gasp!)  Well, I did take the challenge and gave up a few things and here's what I thought about.

How easy is it to give up something for lent?  It's only 40 days, give or take.  But do you follow through...all 40 days?  Somehow for me, it's easier to give up something when I know it's for God.  He see's all, He knows all, "He Knows What You're DOING!"  at all times!  So, I don't want to disappoint God.  But when I want to give up something for myself, it's so much harder. Nearly impossible.  I mean, who was I disappointing?  Only myself.  What commitment was I breaking? Only one that I made for myself.  What Goal was I not reaching?  One I set for myself.  But what are the after effects of me not reaching my goal? Breaking MY commitment?  Disappointing MYself? In the end I feel guilty, I feel like a failure, I end up not being able to fit into my smaller pants.  And that guilt and failure rub off on those around us.  Whether they have to hear us complain about it or we're in a bad mood because of it.  Our husbands, wives, kids, friends have to hear us complain about it or the see our disappointment and feel bad that they can't do anything to help.  Because ultimately it is MY goal, MY failure, MY disappointment...right?

Well, let me help you see things from a different perspective, a Biblical one.  (Please don't hold me to wording things exactly.)  The Bible says that we are God's vessels. We are supposed to honor our bodies, treat it as God's holy temple.  So, if you think about it, if we are setting goals for ourselves that have to do with our weight, then we are on the right track to treating God's temple the way He wants us to treat it.  And really it doesn't matter if it's Lent or New Year's or May 13 (no holiday at all!) glutony is a sin. And if we want to honor God, we must honor ourselves and sometimes that means withholding stuff we want, but really don't need ...we must resist temptation. Sound familiar?

It's hard to see eating and food as sinful because it is a necessity in life. But when we use it to hide from life or comfort ourselves from emotions, then we are sinning because we are supposed to turn to God for those things.  He is our creator, He is our comforter, He is our Father or Daddy, as I like to think of it.  He knows you better than you know yourself. He knows what you're struggling with. He knows how you're feeling. And He knows what you're really doing, even if you don't want to admit it to yourself.  So think about this the next time you want to GIVE IN to those: french fries, extra bite of yumminess, or 2nd glass of wine or bottle of beer, God is watching you.  Don't disappoint Him.

*P.S. The purpose of fasting is to give something up, a meal or a certain food, and replace that behavior with spending time with God praying and reading the Bible.  It's not to just make yourself miserable in God's name.  The point is to grow in your faith by learning and developing a relationship with your heavenly father.  Just wanted to make that clear  ;) Happy Early Easter

Heart to Heart...with myself!

I just made a batch of dairy free chocolate chip cookies for Damian to take to school with him tomorrow.

Last time I made a batch of cookies, 2 weird things happened.  1.  I ended up eating about 6 cookies every day for about 4 days, until they were gone!  The other funny thing is that 2 days after my cookie binge I had several people tell me how great I looked!!  Really?!  They had no idea I had just binged on cookies. They said, "That little belly is from the baby."  Ummm...no. My belly has actually gotten bigger in the last 2 weeks and it's from COOKIES!!  So, I was going to write something called..."Cookies will be the Death of me"  Or  "I fell off the Cookie Wagon"  But I never actually sat down and wrote anything.  So, instead of making dinner at this instant, I'm blogging.  But enough about procrastination, I'm hear to talk about Temptation!!

I'm not going to lie. I did have about 1 small cookie worth in cookie dough and 2 cooked cookies.  But I have to say, as they are sitting there on the cooling racks, I so just want to stuff them in my mouth...dip them in milk first and then STUFF them in my mouth.  But honestly, after the previous two, I could FEEL the yuckiness that I felt last time.  You see, I also didn't get to workout today.  I was busy trying to get a new phone since mine decided to take a dip in my mom's iced tea as we were coming home from San Antonio.  A phone is important in case of an emergency, especially with 3 kids, so I canceled some clients and my workout and got busy.  I say this, because when I don't work out, it makes it even harder to resist temptation.  I hear that it's really all mental.  Whether it is or not, it's definitely true for me.

Now, my title is, "Heart to Heart...with myself".  So you may think, "How conceited". Or you may think, "How crazy!" But the reality is, this is what I do to fight temptation.  So, as I continue to walk around the cookies, give 2 to my 3 year old and am about to put them into containers for school tomorrow, I have to continually TELL MYSELF, "Don't eat it...  It's only going to make you feel worse...  You didin't get to workout, you do not need the extra calories!...  It's not going to taste any different or any better than the first 2 cookies...  There's no point...  DON'T DO IT!!!"  All of these thoughts I must tell myself to resist that cookie temptation.  I am determined to NOT fall off the wagon this time.  Part of what helps is remembering how crummy I felt after the last cookie binge.  And not only did I feel crummy, but I felt out of control. I couldn't stop!  I ate cookies in the morning after my breakfast, I ate them after my lunch, before my dinner. It was ridiculous.  But not this time! I'm taking charge of my myself, my actions, my temptations!  I will resist!  And I will get my workout in tomorrow!!  Maybe even a little extra to make up for today.

Now, y'all be good.  Talk yourself OUT of the temptation if necessary. It doesn't mean your crazy. It mean's you are in control of your own actions. 

Temptation - Own It!     Don't let it own you.

(Sorry for the cheesy line, I couldn't resist.)

Equal & Opposite Reaction Part II

You see, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  If you choose to let the negative things in life be negative in your life, then your life will be negative and all you will see is all of the bad things that happen to you.  But the worst thing is - if you choose to only focus on all the negative that happens to you, then you are losing out on seeing all of the good things that happen to you.  If you choose to see the positive things, then you will see ALL of the positive things, no matter how tiny they are. 
Did you know that 7 positive things make up for 1 bad thing?  You can view this in 2 ways:
Well, there aren't enough positive things to make up for that 1 terrible thing that happened. >:\  (negative)
OR
It only takes 7 tiny, almost insignificant things to make up for that 1 terrible thing? Awesome! (positive)

I mean, finding a penny on the floor could be viewed as positive.  How many times have I been 1 penny short or maybe 4 pennies and I just happen to have 4 pennies in my kids car seat. All 4 he found on the ground! (Because I certainly didn't give them to him:)  The person walking by you in the hall who smiled at you and said hello and they don't even know you.  They could have just ignored your presence completely and kept walking.  Or maybe that person who bumped into you.  They actually said excuse me, instead of just walking on like you should've gotten out of their way when you had no where to go but the wall.

You see every thing in life, and I mean EVERY-THING, can be viewed as a negative circumstance or a positive circumstance.  Let me give you just one example.

The Amber Alert was started after a little girl in Arlington, TX was abducted.  A neighbor heard her scream and was able to call the police department with a description of the vehicle.  Local news and radios broadcasted the information right away.  Unforunately the girl's body was found 4 days later.  But it was this response that gave someone the idea to have this response every time a child is abducted.  As of January 7, 2010, the AMBER Alert Program was directly responsible for the safe recovery of 495 children.  (http://www.amberalert.com/press/national-amber-alert-awareness-day-2/) 
Although this was a tragic circumstance for this family, something good came of it for 495 other families.  What do YOU choose to focus on?

When my family was in a roll over car accident in January 2010 a wonderful lady who witnessed the accident stopped to help.  She was standing outside my upside down vehicle holding my 2 year old and hugging my 10year old daughter as my husband was unbuckling my 4mo pregnant self.  After I had climbed out and was with my kids, the woman looked at me and said, "How are you doing so well?"  (I wasn't crying, I may have been shaking, but only a little.) I told her, "Well, what's done is done. I can't change it and we're all okay. "  Now granted, if we had not been all okay, I'm sure my demeanor would have been different at that time.  But whatever the outcome could have been...What's Done - Is Done.  We can't change what has happened to us.  We can only react.  And how you choose to react is how you will handle life.  I'm not saying it's going to be easy.  You may have to force yourself to do what is necessary and you may have to force yourself to restrain acting the way you really want to act.  But just like your reaction to what has happened to you, what YOU do will also cause a reaction and so on and so on.

So, what will you choose?
Will you choose to allow the negative events in your life define your life and make life miserable for you?
Or
Will you choose to turn those events into something positive?
Learn from them; Grow from them; and Become a better person because of them

Equal & Opposite Reaction Part I

Although experiences in life usually inspire what I write, I don't usually have specific people or circumstances in mind that motivate me to write.  Although people or situations come to me that could relate, they are not usually THE reason I write something.  I've been reading this book/Bible study called Chasing the Lion.  (The book it originates from is In a Pit with a Lion on a Snow Day, by Mark Batterson.  I am absolutely LO-VING this book.  It is all about, well, changing your point of view, really.  What seems like tremendous obstacles or impossible circumstances, could actually be your greatest opportunities.  But you have to be able to SEE the opportunity and then SEIZE the opportunity. So it got me thinking.

How many people let their circumstances define who they are.  I know people who have been abused, molested, have lost husbands, children, parents, close relatives & friends, have been victims of tragedies.  I also know people who have had it easy all their life.  Some financially, some relationally, some circumstancially where nothing bad has really happend to them.  I also know people who have had it both ways.  They have been victim to terrible things and yet have had great opportunities and blessings in their life.  Now some of these people, only see the negative and dwell on the negative, which ultimately blinds them so they never really see all the positive things in their life.  And they are pretty miserable, sometimes fun to be around, but on the inside they feel miserable.  I also know people who have been victim to or experienced great tragedies, but have embraced the blessings and good things that have come to them. 

I have to say, I think I've had it pretty easy.  I haven't really been victim to any great tragedies.  I can definitely name some negative things that I've experienced, losing ALL my grandparents when I was very young, parents divorced in high school, was married, had a baby, and got a divorce all within 18months, all while I was in college, nearly went through a 2nd divorce.  Not great tragedies, but not great times either.  However, I don't let those experiences define me.  I learn from those experiences.  Sometimes I learn from other people's experiences.  I learn what not to do; I learn what TO DO; I learn what to treasure and what not to take granted.  I let those experiences make me who I am by the way I CHOOSE to react.  I could choose to react in a way that is selfish - feeling sorry for myself that i never knew my grandparents or that my parents didn't stay together. Or I could choose to see the good that may have come from those things, or the things that I learned, and maybe to help others with the experiences I've gone through.

You could be like me, became a mother very young. You didn't get to live out those younger years, when you had an excuse to be kinda crazy. You could choose to be irresponsible and live them out now while your children are growing up OR you could choose to be thankful that you were spared the embarrassing moments or maybe even tragedies that could have been.

Maybe you are a mother, plain and simple. You could let that define who you are and let yourself go.  No time for you, all for the children. Maybe you don't take care of YOURself (exercise, eating healthy, looking nice, having quiet time to rest & relax) making you feel resentful, bitter, overweight, dealing with health issues, maybe your marriage is suffering, maybe your kids are spoiled.  OR you could be a Woman...a women of God, be a wife, then be a mother.  One who takes care of yourself, spiritually, mentally & physically, making you not only able to care for your marriage and your family, but also making you feel self-confident, healthy, energized, and ultimately respected by your husband and children.

Maybe you are a business owner.  You could let your business own you. All of your time and effort is spent investing in the business leaving you no time or energy to invest in your spiritual, social, or family life.  OR you could use your ownership and authority to make time for your spiritual, social and family life.

Maybe you've been in bad relationship after bad relationship.  You could feel sorry for yourself and ask what is wrong with me?  What did i do wrong?  or maybe, Why wasn't he has happy, I was?  OR you can take a step back and see what was it that went wrong?  What was I not seeing? What was he not seeing?  And learn from the experience what to do next time and what NOT to do.  So that the next person will be a better match or in the next relationship you'll know how to handle situations when they arise.

Maybe you are a victim of a tragedy or simply have been a victim. You could use that as an excuse to feel defeated when any little thing goes wrong.  OR you can use it to help someone who has experienced the same thing you have, because rest assured you are NOT the only one who has gone through it or is going to go through it.  Maybe even use it as a motivator to fight back: get justice, fight for the cause, start a cause, change legislation, whatever the case may be.  Use your experiences for the good. Don't keep it all in.  You can use negative energy and turn it into positive energy and do good with it.

Don't get me wrong!!  What I am NOT saying is that everyone should be happy go lucky all of the time and no matter how terrible things are in life you should still be happy and thankful.  Well, I'm not exactly saying that.  There are definitely times and circumstances to mourn and times that you have to fight to get out of bed or to face people and life in general.  And you must do those things - mourn, fight, and face. But you can't stay in those places of mourning, an angry place of fighting, avoiding facing the people, facing the circumstances.  You must move on.  It may not be easy at first, but it gets easier and easier...  If you choose to wake up and think of the positive things rather than worry about all the negative things that might happen.